How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday
New from James Breakwell
See below for how to receive a bonus chapter from the new book!
The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else.
Here's how to receive your free bonus chapter:
1. Pre-order now wherever books are sold.
Or pre-order a signed copy online from Main Street Books!
2. Complete this form.
3. Check your email and download your free chapter.
4. Tell all your friends to do the same.
What people are saying about James Breakwell's latest book
"Not worried about random ostrich attacks? Maybe you should be. All the good parents are reading HOW TO SAVE YOUR CHILD. You do want to be a good parent, don’t you? James Breakwell is brilliant, funny, hilarious, and possibly someone you’d want to have nearby in cases of ostrich attacks and accidental time travel, but what you definitely want to have around is his new book, which is a hysterical, survivable romp through this mad world." -Carrie Jones, New York Times bestselling author
"Non-stop laugh-out-loud wit sprinkled with shockingly insightful parenting truths. Literally no other parenting book has the courage to address accidental time travel. Bravo." -Joel Willis, Executive Editor of The Dad
“I adore this book, which, by the way, all parents should read, for a laugh, or just to realize you’re not alone in the insanity…” -Jill Shalvis, New York Times bestselling author
In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What's the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child's nap?
Fortunately, there's now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more.
Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell’s latest book tackles more than 90 survival challenges ordinary parents might encounter in their everyday lives, including:
How to protect your child against tigers, penguins, mastodons, and other animals found in the suburbs.
How to defeat ghosts, gremlins, mummies, and any other supernatural force that might prevent you from getting your kid to bed on time.
How to survive crashing horses, trains, hot air balloons, and other vehicles you might find in the carpool lane.
This is an essential guide for anyone who has children, might have children someday, or is vaguely aware children exist. Put this book down at your own—and your children’s—risk.
Contact Lindsay Marshall at email@example.com